A Stay-At-Home Mom Stays Home

Does anyone know what day it is? I’m not sure anymore but I think it’s something like day 873 of quarantine and today might be Friday.

Colorado has been under a stay-at-home order since March 26. With the exception of a few pediatrician appointments and drive up grocery orders, we have been home since March 15. That is a long time.

As a stay-at-home mom, I’ve heard a lot of remarks that this must be easier for me as I’m used to staying at home anyway. Well, it’s not, and that’s just not true. This stay-at-home mom doesn’t stay-at-home much. A large reason I’ve been able to make this work without losing my mind is because we get out of the house. A. Lot.

Sutton and I are big adventurers. We go to the zoo (closed), the art and history museums (closed), the library (closed). We like long walks around Target and playground swing sessions. We spend a lot of time with my parents. All of those options have been taken away from us.

Sutton turns one next week and her last month of babyhood has been confined mostly to our home. Her grandparents and friends have all missed out on this stage, and we’ve had to cancel her first birthday party. I’m worried she isn’t getting the enrichment she is used to. I’m worried she’s not spending any time with other babies. And I’m fairly certain she is sick of her parents being her only playmates. I’m spending a lot of time trying to be a Pinterest Mom, and a lot of money being my true self, an Amazon Mom.

It’s also hard for me because I feel like I was FINALLY getting some of my self back after having Sutton. It was getting much easier to leave her for a few hours without my boobs exploding and without my mom guilt taking over and preventing me from leaving in the first place… I was starting to spend more time with my friends again, and on myself. I was forging new friendships with other moms (which is freaking hard, guys) and reestablishing close friendships with friends that had fallen by the wayside a bit. I even got a few pedicures.

And having a young baby means date nights have been fewer and farther apart, which is to be expected and a completely worthy sacrifice, but it’s hard to look ahead and not know when the opportunity to go to dinner or a movie will even be an option again. The last time we went to dinner was January 26. A movie? December. If I’d known that this was going to happen, I would have insisted we go to dinner alone.

One of the biggest unexpected challenges for me when I became a stay-at-home mom was the feeling of social isolation. I have a little human with me nearly 24/7- why was I so lonely? I wouldn’t trade the time with her for the world, but I’m used to being in an office, meeting with clients, traveling frequently.

Asking the socially isolated to practice social distancing is very hard. I’m grateful that we have options to connect over technology but all the Zoom happy hours and FaceTime sessions with the grandparents don’t replace the in person time or experience.

I know this is the right thing to do. I vehemently oppose opinions that asking us to stay at home is tyrannical or government overreach. But just because it’s the right thing to do, does not mean it is the easy thing to do. I hope it’s working. I hope it’s saving lives. I hope it will all be worth it.

So, this stay-at-home mom will keep on staying-at-home, however hard it is.